Christmas Riddles

Christmas Riddles

As every Christmas approaches, I am once again driven mad by my husband’s requirement that I stay within the budget for family gift giving, all the while going to extravagant lengths to buy something special for me. He also likes to make it difficult for me to open my gifts – duct tape is nothing. One year he bolted my gift between two pieces of plywood (and then duct taped the whole thing).

This year, though, he outdid himself in every way. He sent me on a scavenger hunt for clues, buried in riddles he penned for the occasion. Here is the hunt on which I was sent:

First, I opened a nicely wrapped box, inside of which I found this riddle:

If gifts you seek then do beware,
The journey’s long with many a scare.
The first stop along that way,
is not far, perhaps a day.
It is easy at first, not even dark,
for what you seek – is an ark.

It wasn’t too hard to figure this one out…

Our Lady of Guadalupe

Next clue, taped to the back:

See now, see now, that was not hard,
five pounds of sugar, and six of lard.
The easy part’s done, now it gets tricky,
even too hard for that blue-eyed Micky!
Visages, visages, all in a chunk,
overlooking the old man’s bunk!

Portrait collage of our children, hanging on bedroom wall.

There I found clue #3:

Poems are fun, poems are neat,
with many meanings, they can’t be beat!
If booty you seek, you must persist,
far to the north, into the mist.
Seek out doggerel, from the past,
There find treasure, that will last.

By now, all the children were racing to help me find the next clue, which was found on the back of this framed piece of nonsense, an old Heidmann family oral tradition handed down through the generations we have hanging on the north wall of the living room:

Clue number 4 went like this:

Which is better, which is more?
Is it the journey or is it the score?
To find the next, you’ll need the former,
think back, before that corner.
Think small, it is quite little,
‘bout the size of a small toy fiddle.
Look back, to the very first,
to she who rescued the cursed.

It took me a bit (I got stuck on “small toy fiddle”), but one of the kids figured it out:

Clue #5:

Dancing children, in the street,
Dancing children, to the beat!
Dancing children, in the house,
Dancing children, scare the mouse!
Dancing children, in the garden,
never again to ask for pardon…

This one was easy!

The Last Judgment winged altar
by Fra Angelico
Children dancing in paradise.

Clue #6 – also easy!

It is over, it is done,
the work complete, the battle won.
The tree gave death, but play the fife,
for now this tree – gives life.

The Tree of Life

And on the back was taped this message:

Catch me, catch me, if you can,
I’m the fat and bald old man!

And an uproarious chase ensued, leading out into the back yard and around the outside of the house, till the children captured him (ain’t no way I could keep up with him anyway – they were my happy surrogates) and brought me the final answer, which he’d been carrying in his pocket:

Dad is sad, he has been beat,
now he must bear the heat.
Pay he must, for mom’s new gift,
even tho’ its hardly thrift.
Live he will, in his new soddy,
paying for Mom’s Canon, full body.

Nettie’s new
Canon EOS 6D Mark II

He didn’t actually have it in a box, he had me sit down and order it right away, so I had to wait a smidge, but it was so worth it. I’m up and running, learning as I go, thankful for Youtube tutorials – there are some amazing photographers out there who are pretty danged awesome at teaching newbs like me!

Anyway, once again my sweetie made my Christmas very merry. Love that guy!!

First portrait with new camera, taken 12/31/19.

Annette Heidmann

I homeschooled four kids all the way through high school and then fostered/adopted 7 more children. I am wife to a very smart mathematician; I dabble in photography, write and sing, paint in bright colors, and love being Catholic!
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